


Take a Breath, My Heart, And Hold Your Tongue

by fingalsanteater



Series: Shield 2.0 [4]
Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Kayfabe Compliant, M/M, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 03:03:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4331319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fingalsanteater/pseuds/fingalsanteater
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not easy loving Seth Rollins, and it's harder not to. </p>
<p>Seth might have abandoned Jamie and Joey, but they'll always have each other.  And, in each other, they begin to find the strength to let Seth go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take a Breath, My Heart, And Hold Your Tongue

**Author's Note:**

> This spans events from Elimination Chamber on May 31, 2015 to the June 8, 2015 episode of Monday Night Raw in which Seth took on J & J in a handicap match. 
> 
> It is the fourth in my series and will make more sense if you have read the other three. 
> 
> I wrote the bulk of this, including all of Seth's dialogue, immediately after seeing Elimination Chamber live. The events in the first part are based on Seth and J & J's interactions after the camera cut. I mention this only because I write Seth saying some rather cruel things that seem worse in light of Jamie's injury. No actual disrespect or capitalization on someone's real life injury is intended.

After Ambrose and Reigns were long gone with Seth's title, Seth still stood in the middle of the ring, red-faced and seething. Jamie had tried to calm him. He had approached Seth cautiously, crawled into the ring and tread carefully closer, one hand outstretched in an attempt to place it on Seth's shoulder.  
  
It was a mistake.  
  
With the reminder that Jamie existed – that Seth, Ambrose, and Reigns weren't the only people in the universe – all of Seth's impotent rage suddenly had a focus, someone he could use as an outlet for his frustrations. He pushed Jamie away roughly and turned on him, eyes so wide all there seemed to be was white.  
  
"It's your fault," he screamed, the roar of the crowd almost drowning out his words. They were still cheering for Ambrose and Reigns, their palpable elation over the theft of  Seth's title just adding to his fury.  
  
Pointing his finger, Seth yelled, "You're useless!"  
  
Jamie was still woozy from Reigns' punch, and it was difficult to disagree with Seth in that moment, because... because the truth was indisputable. He had failed. He had failed and now Seth was in anguish. Seth, his friend who he admired and loved, was in pain and Jamie could do nothing.  
  
"We'll get it back. I'll – I'll get it back for you, Seth. I promise. I promise you, " he blurted out, words bypassing his brain and tumbling frantically from his mouth.  
  
Narrowing his eyes, Seth said, "Ambrose or Reigns would put you down before you even got close. You're worse than useless, Noble. You're a liability." His words were laced with venom, and they worked their way through Jamie's blood, stinging his veins, causing his heart to thump painfully in his chest. Seth had expressed similar sentiments before, but, this time, instead of the words rolling off Jamie like water on glass, Seth's accusation found the little cracks in him, seeped through the small fractures, and filled him up with doubt.  
  
"Come on, boss, we're just trying to help," Joey said, suddenly appearing on the apron. Jamie stepped back, shocked. Joey never spoke so boldly to Seth, and never without a hint of deference. But, where Jamie felt defeat, Joey felt anger. He wasn't spitting mad like Seth, but he was just as angry with Ambrose and Reigns for stealing Seth's belt. And, apparently, he was angry with Seth too, for once again pushing away those who cared.  
  
"Not doing a very good job of it. In fact, you're not doing a very good job of anything," spit Seth, not at all mollified.  
  
He pushed both men aside and stomped up the ramp, leaving Jamie, Joey and an equally enraged Kane trailing behind as the audience continued to roar their approval of Ambrose and Reigns' actions.  
  
Hunter met them backstage and whisked Seth away to his office for a chat. Kane stalked off and Hunter let him go, presumably only wanting to deal with one angry man at a time. Jamie and Joey waited outside the door, brooding while Seth and Hunter talked.  
  
Sliding to the floor, head in his hands, Jamie replayed the match in his mind, looking for any way it could've gone differently in the end, any way he could've stopped Ambrose or Reigns from stealing the title. Seth was right, he was useless. He...  
  
"He didn't mean it," said Joey, interrupting Jamie's self-flagellation.  
  
It was usually Jamie who assured Joey to shrug off Seth's harsh words, but Jamie was lost, unprepared for dealing with a title-less Seth. Yes, technically Seth was still the champion, but what was a champion without his title belt? And, that wasn't the worst of it. Because Jamie might be useless, but he wasn't blind. Seth's rage just didn't stem from the fact his belt had been stolen, no, it was more personal than that, more intimate. It always had been, despite Seth's protests to the contrary, and the stolen belt was now a constant reminder that Ambrose and Reigns were still friends, that they had each other's backs.  
  
And, it made no difference how many times Jamie and Joey had Seth's back, because J & J Security were not the ones Seth wanted as back up. Seth didn't want them, and it didn't matter how many cakes Jamie baked or how many times he and Joey stood cheering in Seth's corner, Seth never would.  
  
"He did mean it and you know it," said Jamie. It came out defeated and miserable and he didn't even care to hide the hurt in his voice. He ached all over, inside and out, bruises on his body and his heart, and Joey, bless him, couldn't heal Jamie with lies.  
  
Joey slid to the floor next to Jamie and gently touched his arm, fingers trailing up to his shoulder where he wrapped his hand around the tense muscle at the juncture of Jamie's neck. His calloused fingers caressed the skin there, his touch hot and gentle.  
  
"You know how he is," said Joey, trying again. Jamie heard lingering anger at Seth hiding in his even tone. Joey, too, was unable to shrug off Seth's slight, but he was willing to try for Jamie's sake and that soothed Jamie somewhat, knowing that even if Seth were able to dismantle him, Joey would be there to help put Jamie back together.  
  
He leaned into Joey's touch and said, "Yeah, I know."  
  
Seth came storming out of Hunter's office, a whirlwind of frustration and fury, interrupting Jamie and Joey's brief moment of peace. They leapt to their feet, ready to follow, as always.  
  
"What are you two still doing hanging around," said Seth, throwing the words over his shoulder as he made his way to the backstage exit.  
  
Jamie grit out, "Doing our jobs." It was impersonal, and so unlike him. Seth was more than a boss, he was a friend, and Jamie was determined to continue to support him, not one to give up on someone difficult despite the uncertainties that pushed their way into Jamie's mind – doubts that Seth really cared about them, worries that their friendship was as flimsy as Seth's loyalties seemed to be.  
  
"We're still with you, Seth," he added, because it was true and it would remain true for as long as Seth allowed Jamie and Joey to support and protect him.

Seth stopped walking and turned around, laughing.  
  
"Are you guys deaf as well as stupid? I told you I don't need you to do anything for me." His voice was acidic and the insults rolled easily off his tongue.  "As if you were even doing anything to help in the first place," he added flippantly, as he turned and continued to head toward the exit.  
  
Jamie moved to follow – hurt, stubborn, and still not thwarted by Seth's cruelty. Joey grabbed his arm, jerking him back.  
  
"Let him go this time, Jamie."  
  
His heart clenched up as he watched Seth turn the corner.  
  
"I can't." The words were just a whisper.  
  
But he could. He could just let him walk away. Joey's hand was an anchor, preventing him from drifting and following in Seth's wake. 

* * *

Corpus Christi was a gloomy city, with cracked streets, empty, crumbling buildings and a view of the ocean dotted with industrial platforms. It was also miserably hot and humid, even close to midnight. Sweat beaded on Jamie's brow and his cotton shirt clung uncomfortably to his skin. He sucked in a breath that stuck wetly in his throat. He was staring at his phone, considering texting Seth. Just a "are you doing ok" message. He reasoned it couldn't do much harm to check up, especially if Seth was over his tantrum and now willing to be comforted.

  
The last message under Seth's name was Jamie's happy birthday message from Thursday. He stared at it a long time, trying to dredge up the happiness he had felt just a day ago, the warm feelings of kinship he'd thought he and Joey had been sharing with Seth. But, all he felt was a sick sense of disappointment churning sour in his stomach. He couldn't resist sending that message, however, his anxiety over Seth's wellbeing and whereabouts a difficult feeling to suppress.  
  
Right after he punched send with a sweaty finger, Joey slid open the door and stepped barefoot out onto the concrete. Jamie's phone was lit up, and he didn't bother hiding the fact that he'd just texted Seth.  
  
Joey didn't say anything at first, just stood behind him and placed his hands on Jamie's shoulders and squeezed.  
  
"Why don't you come to bed," said Joey softly. "He won't text back tonight. He..." Joey trailed off, obviously refraining from saying "He never texts back," and Jamie appreciated his restraint, despite the truth in his bitten off words.  
  
He was drained, but his physical fatigue paled in comparison to his emotional exhaustion. He felt like he could sleep a million years, yet his mind was racing and he knew once he got into bed he wouldn't be able turn off. Still, Jamie pushed himself up from the rickety chair and followed Joey back into the room. The air conditioner was just barely keeping the heat at bay, and Jamie finally decided to just forgo his shirt, pulling it off and tossing it in the direction of his bags where it fell in a damp lump on the floor. Joey was stretched out across his bed, eyes darting to watch Jamie as he crossed the small room, flicked off the light and climbed into bed.  
  
With the curtains drawn, the darkness was as oppressive as the humidity, pressing in on all sides of Jamie and sticking to his skin, sinking into him and pushing all the things he'd tried to forget to the forefront of his mind. He could hear Seth telling him he was a liability like he was standing in the room, he could feel Seth's arms wrapped around him in that seemingly grateful hug from just a day ago, and, in the dark behind his eyelids, he could see Seth's fist extended in a gesture of solidarity.  
  
Stomach flip-flopping uncomfortably, he sighed and rolled over on his side and then back again, trying in vain to expel his nervous energy.  
  
Joey's voice pierced the darkness. "I can hear you thinking."  
  
"Can't stop." Jamie, rolled over to face Joey's bed. "I'm just..." He sighed, like it was the proper end to his sentence, his emotions too mixed up and complex to try and put to words.  
  
"Me too," said Joey.  
  
It was silent for a while, tense but not uncomfortable, like they knew this conversation was going somewhere, but both unsure of where yet.  
  
"Remember when you convinced Seth that a hug would be good for him," said Joey, finally, voice cracking slightly.  
  
Jamie swallowed hard at the lump in his throat.  
  
"You think that'd work this time?" Jamie asked, hating how unsure he felt. He should just get up and figure out where Seth was and try again. Seth would have cooled off by now and maybe they'd strategize on how they were going get Seth's belt back.  
  
Seth would probably let Jamie help him now. It was all Jamie wanted – just to help, just to be there for Seth, to be anything Seth needed.  
  
Joey answered, interrupting Jamie's fantasies. "I don't know. This time feels different."  
  
While Jaime had his doubts, he was still mostly confident that their relationship with Seth hadn't changed, that Seth just needed time to calm down. Joey was now the one who needed reassurance, like Jamie had earlier in the night.  
  
"Nah," Jamie said, trying to ease Joey's mind. "We've just got to be there to back him up, like normal, and things'll work out like they always do." The more he thought it, the more he said it, the more his doubts receded.  
  
"I don't know, Jamie," said Joey again. He sounded fragile, on the verge of shattering, and the emotion in his voice pulled at Jamie's heart. Instead of the painful, heavy thump he felt as Seth insulted him, this feeling was light and fierce and burned him through. He wanted Joey to feel as sure as he did that things would work out, and instead Joey was feeling more vulnerable than ever.  
  
The dark space between his and Joey's beds was suddenly a gulf too wide, and Jamie felt the urge to cross it, to not leave Joey lonely and aching.  
  
He slid clumsily from his bed and took the few steps to the edge of the other bed where he could barely make out Joey's shape.  
  
"Jamie?" Joey sounded startled by Jamie's approach, but Jamie didn't pause, instinctively drawn to Joey in an attempt to do anything to soothe his pain, just like Joey had done for him earlier in the night.  
  
Jamie just said, "Scoot," and Joey did without hesitation.  
  
They'd shared beds before, when room bookings went wrong and they ended up in a single. But, never like this. Jamie crawled in next to him and Joey rolled on his side, so they were facing each other.  
  
"Don't you dare think Seth isn't still with us, Joey," said Jamie firmly. "It was a tough night for him and I bet – no, I know – when next we see him he'll be looking for us to be by his side, everything forgotten and forgiven. Okay?"  
  
Joey didn't respond at first and Jamie moved closer, laying a hand on his bare shoulder. Shuddery breaths filled the darkness between them and Jamie stroked his hand up Joey's neck, to his jaw, fingers skimming through the rough stubble and spanning the breadth of his cheek, resting on the hard bone below his eye. Joey's cheek was wet and Jamie brushed away tears with the soft pad of his thumb.  
  
"Sorry," sobbed Joey. "I can't help it."  
  
Jamie shushed him gently and moved even closer, their bodies almost touching, and Joey closed the distance between them by looping an arm around Jamie's shoulders and nudging forward until he'd pressed their foreheads together, the tips of their noses touching. The space between them was gone and Joey's hand slid up to cradle the back of Jamie's head, scratching lightly through his short hair.  
  
Jamie sucked in a sharp breath.  
  
"Is this okay?" Joey whispered.  
  
"Yeah," said Jamie, the word barely more than an exhale, because, Jamie's breath was caught in his throat. Really, it was better than okay. It was comfortable and nice and Jamie felt better than he had all day, with Joey's warm, slightly slick skin pressed up against him. Jamie listened as his shuddery breath began to even out and rubbed lazy, small circles along Joey' s spine.  
  
Jamie fell asleep like that, though he didn't remember doing so. When he woke next, his head was pillowed on Joey's arm and he was curled up on his side next to him, their legs intertwined. The air conditioning had finally cooled the room off and Joey's skin was comfortably warm and dry next to his.  
  
Brain fuzzy with sleep, Jamie wondered how they could've gone all this time without sharing each other's space like this. Burrowing in closer, Jamie drifted back to sleep.  
  
Later in the morning, he was jerked from sleep by Joey's alarm  – Seth's theme music. He and Joey were spooned together, back to belly with Jamie's arm thrown over Joey's waist. Groaning at the abrupt wake up, Joey pulled just far enough away to fumble with his phone on the side table and turn off the alarm. Jamie's fingers dragged across the skin of Joey's stomach, the muscles trembling under his hand as Joey shifted and settled back into Jamie's arms.  
  
Joey fit into the curve of Jamie's body like he was made to, like they were made for each other, and that feeling of rightness sunk into him. Another thing to be grateful to Seth for, Jamie reckoned – he'd brought him and Joey together.  
  
Neither of them moved for a while, though Jamie couldn't help but minutely caress the skin of Joey's stomach with his thumb.  
  
Eventually Joey mumbled, "We should probably get up." He sounded like he wasn't in favor of the idea himself, despite suggesting it.  
  
"Do we have to?" said Jamie, mouthing the words onto Joey's shoulder. They were both terrible at mornings, and this was a typical exchange, the only difference being their proximity.  
  
They reluctantly detangled after awhile longer, neither one willing to leave the comfort of the bed or each other arms.  
  
They wouldn't see Seth until they got into San Antonio, and that thought was enough of a push to get Jamie moving. Though he still dragged his feet, his worry and despair from the night before rising back up in him like bile. As much as he wanted to see Seth and offer his apologies for letting him walk away, he was anxious about Seth's response.  
  
Joey bumped shoulders with him softly on the way to the car, a gesture of support that lifted Jamie's spirits somewhat.  
  
The drive to San Antonio was boring, the verdant green of overgrown vegetation and the dull gray of the highway and the bark of scraggly trees all blending together before his eyes. There was nothing to look at on this stretch of highway, and while the radio was entertaining, it wasn't enough. Reading or checking his phone were out, as he was prone to car sickness if he stared at a book or a screen. Normally an easy, dull, straight-shot drive like this wouldn't affect him so deeply, but with nothing to look at, his mind turned inward, and he was avoiding reflecting too hard on Seth's actions. His fantasy conversations with Seth rarely mirrored real life and he didn't want to think too hard on all the ways their next time together would go.  
  
He glanced over at Joey, watched his fingers tapping on the steering wheel, rhythmically off-beat to the song playing, more an absent-minded, distracted tapping. Joey glanced over at him and smiled, reached out and rubbed his hand over Jamie's hair and affectionately squeezed the back of his neck.

Joey's hand on him was a welcome distraction, and he turned his focus from Seth to surreptitiously watching Joey concentrate on driving, occasionally mouthing the words to songs he knew. Joey silently singing "Love Don't Cost a Thing" was an amusing surprise, and Jamie had to disguise a laugh as a cough.    
  
With most everyone else, Jamie felt a need to talk, a need to fill silences, but, with Joey, that anxious urge dissipated. Nothing about being with Joey was uncomfortable.

* * *

Seth had gone too far this time. He'd blown them off entirely at the tapings of Raw and SmackDown, ignored them to the point where Jamie almost did start to feel like he was just an annoying tag-along. When Jamie tried to talk to him, Seth pulled his phone out and started texting or scrolling or doing anything other than acknowledging Jamie's existence. Eventually, Joey, with wide, watery eyes, would pull Jamie away.  
  
Jamie even tried calling Seth, knowing he'd at least see it with as much time as he spent on his phone. He left a long, rambling message full of apologies and promises and Jamie felt a little sick when he finally hung up. But, he was a bit past desperate. Joey was keeping it together well enough on camera, but when they were alone, he was a mess, constantly on the verge of tears. It hurt Jamie to see him like that. Jamie would do anything to make things right between the three of them.  
  
Seth's monologue on SmackDown was especially painful. There was a finality to it that left Jamie reeling, feeling lost. It was hard to stomach Seth's claim that he wanted nothing to do with him and Joey, because Jamie knew Seth cared about them.  
  
He wondered if this was what Ambrose and Reigns had felt when Seth had left them behind – this nauseating, horrible emptiness.  
  
But, at least Seth gained a championship and better friends when he sloughed off Ambrose and Reigns. He gained nothing by abandoning Jamie and Joey, and it confused and upset Jamie more than anything that Seth continued to refuse to see the worth of Shield 2.0.  
  
Joey was forcibly stoic after Seth's promo and pointedly avoided Seth backstage. Jamie pulled him in a dark corner, worried about the hard set of his jaw and the way Joey's mouth was so severely downturned.  
  
"Talk to me, Joey," he demanded, hushed and frantic. Joey easily crumpled, and fell into Jamie's arms, burying his face in his neck. He was sobbing, clutching desperately at the fabric of Jamie's jacket. Jamie wrapped his arms around Joey and pulled him in close, resting his hands at the base of Joey's spine.  
  
"Hey, hey, hey. It'll be alright," he said. "He didn't mean it. He didn't." His words felt like lies, just empty platitudes, but he said them anyway. He wanted them to be true.  
  
They didn't even bother with the pretense of sleeping in separate beds that night. After Joey turned the lights out, he immediately crawled into bed with Jamie and slung an arm over his hip, pressing his face into the back of Jamie's neck. Jamie wanted to turn toward him, to hold him and tell him it'd be okay, but he wasn't doing so great himself. Even if Joey couldn't see the sadness written on his face in the dark, he was afraid any waver in his voice would make it worse. He contented himself with threading his and Joey's fingers together.  
  
Something had to be done about Seth this time. He couldn't get away with continuously upsetting Joey. He may be the best boss and friend Jamie had ever had, not counting Joey, but he couldn't allow Seth to continue to disrespect them.  
  
Joey shifted against him, and nuzzled closer, his breath warm on Jamie's neck.  
  
Jamie drifted off with Joey's arms around him and running through imaginary confrontations with Seth in his mind, most of them ending with Seth apologizing and welcoming his beloved security team back with open arms.

* * *

His fantasies were just that.  
  
Jamie wasn't sure what stung more – his cheek after Seth slapped him, or the fact that Seth had slapped him in the first place. He wasn't expecting it, it didn't fit into what he'd imagined happening, and he'd acted on reflex when he slapped Seth back.  
  
He regretted it later.  
  
"He deserved it," said Joey, clenching his fists, fingers curling and uncurling rhythmically. "He deserves more."  
  
Joey was livid. It was like a switch had flipped in him, his despair over Seth's snubbing turning to anger almost as soon as Seth's hand connected.  
  
Jamie sighed.  
  
"Well, maybe," he said, frowning.  
  
He was conflicted about their match with Seth, torn between the need to show Seth that he shouldn't belittle and ignore his friends, but also desperately afraid they might push him farther away.  
  
He hated being so wishy-washy, hated his lack of strength when it came to Seth.  
  
"Have some respect for yourself, Jamie," said Joey harshly. He stepped closer and  tilted Jamie's chin up with a finger. Jamie followed the movement readily and met Joey's eyes as he caressed the line of Jamie's jaw, his thumb rubbing softly against the cheek that Seth had slapped. Shuddering, Jamie closed his eyes, overwhelmed by the tenderness of Joey's touch and the depth of emotion in just that little gesture. Joey cupped his cheek and Jamie leaned into the warmth of his hand, inhaling sharply when Joey's palm brushed against the corner of his mouth. Turning his head slightly, relishing the way Joey's hand brushed against his beard, Jamie pressed a quick, dry kiss to the center of Joey's palm.  
  
"You're worth more," Joey whispered, voice ragged.  
  
Jamie opened his eyes again and grasped Joey's hand lingering gently on his cheek.  
  
"I know I am." He let their hands drop, still clasped together. Laying his other hand on Joey's shoulder, Jamie said, "Not just me. You too." He swallowed heavily, squeezed Joey's hand, and continued. "You're right. We both deserve better."  
  
Joey nodded. "There you go. Look, we both know Seth is amazing, but we can't keep letting him treat us like he does. We've got to make him realize he's wrong this time. He was wrong to hit you, Jamie."  
  
The corner of Jamie's mouth quirked up in a half-smile. The more Joey reassured him, the more certain he felt they were on the right path. The pain of Seth's abandonment was just a low buzz underneath the fierce heat of Jamie's ever-growing appreciation of Joey's friendship.  
  
"Oh, he's gonna figure that once we get him in the ring," he assured Joey. "He's great, but he's no match for the two of us."  
  
Joey smiled in return and pulled Jamie in for a hug.

* * *

After the match, he, Joey and Kane had pounded back a few celebratory shots, parting ways amicably after a few hours of drinking. It was kind of nice, finally making friends with Kane, though Jamie didn't particularly like the fact that he and Joey had to pin Seth to do so. Sure, he was elated over their win at first, but his happiness faded as the night went on.

Again, Jamie crawled in bed with Joey, and they curled around each other in the dark, both of them looking for some solace. They were drunk and exhausted and unhappy and Joey's body against his felt like home.  
  
"I miss Seth," Jamie slurred, words running together.  
  
Joey understood though, because he felt the same. He petted Jamie's hair and pressed a kiss to the top of his head in response.  
  
Jamie's lips were at the hollow of Joey's throat and he wanted to taste there, so he did. He opened his mouth and let his bottom lip drag wetly over skin, flicking his tongue out to feel the quickening of Joey's pulse at the base of his throat. Joey just tasted of salt and clean skin and the beat of his pulse tasted of nothing, but the way it fluttered against Jamie's tongue was the sweetest thing.        
  
Joey shuddered against him and murmured something Jamie didn't catch. He was too intensely focused on sucking on Joey's throat and drunk besides, head muzzy. Breath hitching, Joey tilted his head back, baring his neck, and clutched at Jamie's waist, hands sliding back to the base of his spine.

If Jamie weren't so drunk and tired, he might have thought to move his lips from the base of Joey's throat, but the rhythm of Joey's pulse under his mouth was intoxicating in its own right and Jamie just lazily kissed at the soft skin over it, falling asleep to the feel of Joey's heart beating against his lips.

Jamie woke still tangled up with Joey and with light shining uncomfortably in his eyes. He was dehydrated and bleary and he felt miserable. He pulled away from Joey, heart clenching as Joey groaned sleepily at the loss of contact. Jamie hurried in the bathroom, wanting to get back to Joey as soon as he could. He stopped briefly to dig around in their bags for a bottle of water and set it on the side table, thinking Joey might want it when he finally woke up. Just as he was climbing back into bed, Joey's alarm sounded.

It took Jamie a moment to realize what the sound was. The harsh thump of Seth's theme music had been replaced with a generic trilling chime. Surely it was his slight hangover that had him feeling nauseous, and not the casual reminder that Seth was not a part of their lives any longer.

Ceasing his awkward crawl up from the foot of the bed, Jamie sat back and watched as Joey stirred and rolled over, already half awake from the noise of Jamie's rustling around. He rubbed his eyes and groped for his phone to mute the chime. 

"Ugh, sorry," he said, voice rough from sleep. "I thought I turned it off yesterday."

"There's water for you," said Jamie, just to say something. He didn't want to ask Joey when he changed his alarm music, or how much it'd hurt him to do so. He didn't want to ask if he'd done anything else, like delete Seth's number.

Joey nodded gratefully and pushed himself up just enough to down half the bottle. Jamie watched the way his throat moved as he swallowed, followed the motion down to the small reddish–blue mark between Joey's collar bones. He remembered the feel of Joey's skin under his tongue, the taste of him, and he closed his eyes and swallowed hard, unable to look at Joey without his heart skipping a beat.

When he opened his eyes, Joey was staring at him, brows drawn together.

He held the bottle out and Jamie took it, mouth suddenly very dry.

Joey waited until Jamie finished the rest of the bottle before asking, "You okay?"

It wouldn't be a lie to say he was hung over, but it would be obvious that Jamie wasn't being completely truthful. Jamie tried to think of a way to put into words what he was feeling – a love for Joey, whose support kept Jamie from breaking completely, mixed uncomfortably with his love for Seth, whose absence in their lives was so raw and painful. Ultimately he didn't need say anything, because, again, Joey knew exactly what he needed. 

"Come here," said Joey, sliding back down onto his pillow and holding out his arms to Jamie. Crawling up beside him, Jamie buried his face in Joey's chest and let Joey envelope him.

"I don't know if I can do it," he admitted. "I don't know how long I can stay away." He was so scared of them ending up like Ambrose and Reigns, of loving Seth with everything they had and being discarded like their love had meant nothing.

Joey's chest rose as he sighed, and Jamie loved the way he could feel the motion of Joey's breath filling his lungs.

"We can do this," Joey said, voice wavering less than Jamie expected. "Remember he's the one who is wrong, not us."  

They loved Seth, and were willing to put up with a lot. But, a person could only be pushed away so many times before they had to just continue loving from afar. Jamie hoped Seth would let them back in again, because he wasn't cut out for keeping his distance from those he cared about.

"We can do this," Jamie repeated, the words a reminder that he wasn't alone, that Joey's heart was just as shattered as his. Under him, he could feel Joey's heart beating steady in his chest, just a little too quick, but that was okay, because Jamie's heart was pounding just a little quick too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who has humored my complaints about this fic over the last month. You guys know who you are. <3 
> 
> The title is from [Pretty Little Head](http://elizarickman.bandcamp.com/track/pretty-little-head) (link opens to audio) by Eliza Rickman. It was recced to me by thundercaya, who was one of those who humored me to the point of writing me a [fabulous J&J fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4245276), which you should go read.


End file.
